A Coaching Power Tool By Jana Glezova, Expatriate Coach, CZECH REPUBLIC
The Difference Between Adjust vs. Adapt
Understanding the difference between Adjusting vs. Adapting to situations.
We all live in a time of change, everything changes rapidly. The question is; do we adjust to those everyday little things and somehow move on, or do we adapt to having valid reason and understanding?
It seems like there is no distinction between these two words, but looking at it closer we see two different words with two contrasting meanings.
Adjust vs. Adapt Explanation
During our lifetime, we adjust to many different situations every day. Whether it’s a small thing like getting used to new furniture in our living room or a new phone. “Adjust” is often used in the sense of major life changes, but is this use correct? It’s necessary to understand the meaning of the word correctly and then modify the necessary behavior given the situation. It’s important to differentiate these two words and their usage.
As an expatriate coach, I always point out these two words to make sure my clients understand the difference when talking about it. Especially, when it comes to expatriatism words like “adjust” and “adapt” are used almost every time. From my own experience as a person who lived in four diametrically different countries, I can tell the distinction between these two meanings. As an example, I would like to talk about my experience living in Dubai, UAE. I adjusted to the fact that I’m there alone and need to make new friends as I adjusted to the fact that the working week started already on Sunday. On the other hand, I adapted to the everyday heat as I adapted to the fact that there is no fresh mountain breeze. Unpleasant daily temperatures aren’t something we can easily adjust to because we haven’t grown up in such an environment. On the contrary, we can adapt to the fact that it gets very hot and we need to stay more inside during the summertime. It’s something that changes our lifestyle.
Adjust vs. Adapt: My Coaching Experience
One of my clients came up with the question of how to stand up to her husband and express her opinion. She didn’t want to move with him to another country for work purposes. The problem was that she couldn’t stand up to him and enforce her opinion or arguments. Instead, she preferred to say that it will turn out somehow and that she would eventually adapt as always. But then the question remains whether the adaptation is right in this situation? Is it good for a person to simply adapt to serious life-changing decisions? I encouraged my client to think more about what she wanted, but she still believed it was for the best to just agree in silence to avoid arguments with her husband. During our sessions I started to ask more about her and her feelings, trying to find out more about what she wanted. One day, she came to our session ready to talk about changing her behavior towards her husband. She finally got to the point where she realized that standing up and having an argument doesn’t necessarily mean a problem in a relationship; it means to be able to stand behind her opinion on a certain situation and “fight” for it, not just adjust to it.
What can I ask my client to make sure she finds out a real solution and not only adjust/adapt to a situation?
- What is that you want?
- What makes it important for you to move to a different country?
- What makes you feel this is the right decision?
- How do you feel about moving abroad?
- What do you visualize when thinking of moving abroad?
- What would be the ideal outcome of this problem from your point of view?
All of these questions are client-focused, without mentioning the husband to make sure my client concentrates only on her feelings and visions. For many people and not only my client, it’s also hard to realize that what they do, what they get used to doing, or what they adjust/adapt to, should be only their decision – especially in the case of adaptation. It can’t be against our moral beliefs or make us uncomfortable in any matter. As mentioned, people sometimes believe that “just go with the flow” and adapt is easier because they don’t have to stand behind themselves. As a coach, I find this a challenge since I can’t anyhow lead my clients. Until the client doesn’t get to the point of understanding themselves that the best for them is to believe first in that certain decision and then adapt to it. Also, while coaching I have had a client who said that she knows it would be great to have her own opinion but she’s somehow happy in her own adjustable bubble because it makes it easier for everyone in the family. As a coach I couldn’t say if it was right or wrong, I tried to question it but it didn’t move the client forward to fight for herself. These are challenging moments when people have their decision made already before the session and are not willing to change it and leave their comfort zone. In these cases, I suggest not to proceed in our sessions anymore because the client doesn’t want to move from being adjustable to being adapted to a whole new environment. The understanding behind this is that we really can adjust to many things in our daily lives but when it comes to adaptation it has to be something we believe in and will not later regret.
My Coaching Experience Non-Judgmental Space
I still like to remind my clients and myself of the fact that it’s absolutely necessary that a person who decides on a big life change must be convinced of the act. We should sit down and think about the fact that change doesn’t always have to be as tricky as it seems, with that also not the adaptation, if we believe in it…
It’s absolutely worthless to dwell in a relationship, work, or a country where we aren’t happy. Just because we have already adapted there in any way, whether within the framework of gradual adjustment or because we saw it earlier differently. Time changes and us with it, that’s why it’s important to sit down and reflect on our previous decisions. Find out if we still stand behind our decision or if we are in some bubble that we have created by adapting. Sometimes it is very difficult to realize that something lasts longer than necessary. We ignore how we feel in the environment in which we live or with whom we live. We thus become victims of our own adaptation.
In contrast, adjustments that relate more to small changes may seem absolutely harmless. But is that so? However, it is necessary to realize that even in the case of adjustment, we must think about the boundaries. Are we still happy about our new phone or by now we are just adjusted to it because we don’t want to spend money on a new one? All of these things affect our daily life and if we want to live a happy life we need to reflect on them.
Being a coach I have realized how important our job is to support other people in their life changes. I help my clients get on the right path by deciding that adaptation isn’t something they will only hold on to because it’s a habit. Each of us deserves a great life where we have to enjoy adapting to a new environment, even if it’s not always easy.
People often have the feeling of retreating and coming to terms with a given situation in the sense of adjustment is easier, but in the long run, it’s easier to fully understand the issue and if we feel like it, we will adapt to it.
I don’t believe that any of these words would have a negative meaning or impact on our personality. However, I believe that misuse or misunderstanding of these words can put us in a precarious situation in our daily lives. Each of us should realize that whether adjustment or adaptation both means that we will “get used to” something.
Adjust vs. adapt, are the words used by each of us almost every day. I’m certain it’s important to deal with their understanding. Despite everything that has been mentioned, the most important thing in life is to be yourself and let yourself be led only by your thoughts and feelings. No one has to rule or decide what we do with our lives.
References
Difference Between “Adjust and Adapt.” (2017, March 6). Www.Englishforums.Com.
Cope, A. (2020, July 20). Adjusting to Change: Adapt and Overcome. Centerstone.