A Coaching Model Created by Violetta Psofaki
(Transformational Coach, GREECE)
Evolution is defined as the gradual process in which something changes into a different and usually more complex or better form. We are living in very interesting times and at this point of human history, human evolution is the crossover from egoic individuation, expressing as separation, to the direct experience of pure Being and its conscious manifestation as pure Becoming. This is the reason why I chose to name my Model “Evolution”.
We are all engaging in treasure hunting throughout our lives without recognizing that the treasure is hidden within us. Our outer shell protects us from the world and we unconsciously hide our gold under a layer of clay. All we need to do is to have the courage to chip away this outer shell of clay, piece by piece, in order to uncover our gold. Life can be a magical journey if our purpose is a whole, integrated being. We have been hypnotized and conditioned to believe that we have limited power but we have the power to save the world by saving ourselves.
Essence of Self
Value of intention
Openness and acceptance of whatever is
Love, trust and connection
Uniqueness
Transformation plan
Insights and flow
Opportunities and transfer of learning
New self, gratitude and fulfillment
Essence of Self
Authenticity and Awareness, in my perspective, are the foundation of an integral and whole existence. Authenticity is the state where we don’t need to protect and defend our identity, we just need to direct our attention into our sensations. We must know the truth about ourselves, we must be self-aware of what is happening within us, we must be in touch with our subconscious mind. Instead of being defined by a memory of the past we can be defined by a new version of ourself and our future. When we embrace our totality we experience freedom and our mind shapes our reality. To connect and live from a place of light we need to get rid of judgement, criticism and condemnation. We must not look what is wrong but instead to see perfection and try to make our world a better place to live in. We must not see with our eyes but through our eyes.
As coaches we can support our clients to their quest and exploration in the depths of their existence. By being attentive and caring, mindful and present in the moment, by being active listeners and by powerful questioning we can support them to get to know who they are and what their true needs are. We can also support them by giving them feedback that will create more self-awareness for them. From the created safe space the coach is listening for the client’s willingness to explore and experience their higher self. We can ask:
“How acting like someone you are not has served you so far?”
“Who is your life asking you to be?”
“Who do you choose to be?”
Value of intention
Brenna Yovanoff has said that
Intention is one of the most powerful forces there is. What you mean when you do a thing will always determine the outcome.
Life intentions are any number of profound statements about the way we want to live our life. How do we want to be and act in the world? Intention is the pillar of decision, goal setting and action. When we get clear on what we want to achieve, we can make clear decisions that create the life we truly desire to live. The moment we tap into this feeling, we get our power back. By acknowledging our intensions, we can enter any situation with a whole new sense of being. As our life purpose and intentions become clearer, our life is bound to move more smoothly and powerfully in the direction we want it to go. I paraphrase a Rinpoche’s phrase and I say that without intention, our life is like a rock in a lake. After some years the rock is still a rock.
It has been said that
the two most important days in our life are the day we are born and the day we find out why we were born.
As coaches we can support our clients in exploring and connecting with their values, strengths, vision and purpose, so as to be able, in difficult times, to have direction and navigate through the journey of their life. We can support them in creating structures that will remind them of their intentions which will help them to become more focused to and effective in building the future they want. By being present they can create awareness of the changes in their lives so as to be intentional about why they do what they do. We can support them to understand, accept and embrace their “why”, the motives behind their actions. We can support them to set their intention before they engage in whatever event or situation, because the more clear and conscious they are about their intention, the more they will be able to realize their goals. We can ask:
“What is most important to you in your life?”
“What are your deepest values and beliefs?”
“How did using your intention affect you up to date?”
“How could you use your intention in this?”
Openness and acceptance of whatever is
We live in times when super-busy schedules have become something to boast about. While the speed of life increases, there is less and less time to enjoy the moment that we are in. The ability to appreciate the moment is the base for long term happiness of any human being. Being present is part of mindfulness just as openness and acceptance, without judgment, of whatever is happening at the present moment. Openness is the state where we are being light and in a “flow state”, in which we have goals but our happiness isn’t tied to the outcome of those goals. Acceptance is the state where we fully embrace our experience at the here and now just as it is. Acceptance does not mean complacency. It means we do the work that needs to be done and we let go of attachment to results.
As coaches, we can support our clients to be open and to accept themselves firstly and then to accept whatever happens to their environment and impact their life. This can be done when the client gains awareness about their underlying beliefs, their values and their part in the universal order. When they realize that something
doesn’t happen to them but for them, they will be able to understand that nothing external has power over them without their reaction. We can support them by being present, listen, paraphrase, observe, asking question, giving feedback, being empathic, from a space of trust and non-judgment, where the external pressure of life cannot enter. We can support them by being there, next to them, throughout their quest and exploration in finding their true beliefs, values and principles and not the ones that others have been feeding them with as they were growing up. We can ask:
“What is trying to emerge from this situation?”
“What is your relationship with the world?”
“What do you have to change here?”
“What do you owe to yourself to do?”
Violetta Psofaki
Love, trust and connection
A journey of a million miles begins with the first step! In my perception, the first step in everything is love and trust. When we live our life from a loving and trusting space there are no risks, nothing seems difficult and we are able to successfully remove all the roadblocks from our path. In a loving, trusting space we can do anything, we can create anything we want for ourselves, we can make the world come alive, we can create miracles. In a trusting space, strong emotional connections can be made between ourselves and others. In order to create such a space we must love and trust not only ourself but our clients as well and of course the procedure itself. Trust is a quality of being, which comes from the heart. A trusting person looks the world with trust, no matter what. Love is the greater of the channels through which we tap into our inner, higher self, which is part of a power, tremendous bigger than ourselves. Self love and care is essential for every human being in order to have a fulfilling life.
As coaches we should establish a coaching partnership based on mutual trust, our clients should feel that they can share with us their feelings, thoughts and insights. We can help our clients understand that whatever it is they face, it is part of their ongoing development. We can achieve this by listening to connect, acknowledging their achievements so far, caring for their prosperity and best interest, encouraging them to explore their reactions and behaviors, respecting their emotions and decisions, empathize with them and posing powerful questions in order to help them to expand their perspective and shift their way of thinking so as to recognize a lot more of opportunities. We can support our clients by sharing with them our observations, thoughts and intuitions without judgment or criticism. We can ask:
“What do you have to learn here?”
“What can you trust about this situation?”
“What structures can you put in place to strengthen self-love and self-trust?”