ME model aims to assist clients to fall in love with their communicative make up, their person, the person that they were packaged to be with the power to act appropriately and suited to the circumstance. Clients differ in their starting point, some understand the outer behavioral aspects first, whilst others unpack the package of ME first which is the inner circle of the model or the part of a person that is hidden underneath the water mark. Wherever they start the model leads them to evaluate self as the primary tool to carve their life landscape and realize their goals.
Underpinning theory of the model: Systems theory: The output is greater than the total some of its parts. What happens in one part affects another area of the system as is represented by the ripple effect of water.
The model represents the ripple effect of water similar to the open systems theory, what happens, (is stirred inside the life waters of the clients’ mind) has a ripple effect on all other areas as their insights permeates the entire world of thought (inner circle / underneath the water mark) and expression (the outer circle / above the water mark). The Ice berg is an analogy to demonstrate that often the gap between the clients’ thought world and its behavioral expression is counterproductive to meeting their goals. The model depicts the gap between intent and behavior and leads the client to realize the influence and impact thereof on them leading successful lives. Often the client is unaware of the behavioral traits he or she has that has been working against that may have created the outcome they experience or on the other hand be blind to the opportunities or strengths he or she possesses to further their personal success.
2. Key competency: Behavioral Intelligence
The model acknowledges three major expressions of ourselves, namely ME (aware of “self”), WE (influence on others) and WORK (impact on our personal or professional circumstance / environment). Aligned with behavioral intelligence, the model aims to grow the clients’ intelligence about their behavior through insight and introspection gained during the journey to empower them with self-knowledge and to equip them with amongst others impulse control tools and techniques to act out the appropriate or intelligent behavior that is suitable to advance the situation
The model actively leads the client to aggressively and critically evaluate their thought world. For each client the focus falls on different areas, some have to evaluate and adjust or change limiting beliefs identified in their frame of reference (underneath the water mark). It refers to their past and draws the clients focus on how often we lose perspective by making present tense decisions based on past, rejection, hurt, disappointment. It creates awareness with the client that if we base our decisions on fear we intertwine our present time decisions mistakenly with past guilt/ disappointment / hurt with future tense fear in a bid to protect self. We inevitable end up making present tense decisions that only acknowledges past events and future expectations, not evaluating the present tense for the opportunities and risks it may offer. We therefore do not act mindfully.
3. Philosophical underpinning: Existentialism
From an existentialist point of view this model acknowledges that the client is intrinsically intertwined with his or her fellow role players in his or her private or personal life. That the client establishes his or her own meaning to life as they live authentically true to themselves to achieve their goals and make sense of life, draw meaning form and add meaning to life. This brings about lightness and clarifies the client’s life purpose which has a direct impact on the client’s level of overall wellbeing.
4. Description of the ME Model
Herewith an explanation of the elements of the model.
4.1 The 1st level of the model entails ME + WE = WORK.
- ME: The client needs to grow aware of his thought world and or behavior that are unique to him or her and understand his or her personal make up. Know their communicative tool and how they use it with a focus on understanding “self”.
- WE: The client needs to understand the influence of the ME (“self”) on others and how it may affect them as partners or obstacles on their personal route to greatness.
- WORK: The client needs to understand the impact of the combination of knowing “self” and the influence “self” has on others (the client’s level of emotional intelligence). This knowledge positions the client to appreciate their role in their circumstance and position them to be able to take responsibility for bringing about change should that be deemed necessary as their insights grows. This refers to WORK as the collective output / status quo of the client’s personal or professional life. Understanding how aspects A, B, and C are interrelated and have a ripple effect on one another is the clients’ level of behavioral intelligence. Thus his or her ability to read the influence and impact of their behavior on their surroundings and the power to manage it for a positive outcome for the client and others involved.
4.2 Schutzs’ interpersonal communication needs theory
The client grows to understand the interrelated nature of the following basic interpersonal communication needs indicative of all people and the direct relationship thereof with their level of influence on others and their environment.
a.) Need for Control: The model creates awareness with the client about his or her own need and level of control as well as understands the relationship thereof with others as he or she uses control to influence others (WE) and bring about impact in their WORK circumstance.
b.) Need for Inclusion: The client appreciates his or her need for inclusion in relation to others (WE) that they influence and ultimately the relationship thereof with the impact they create in their WORK circumstance
c.) Need for Affection: The client grows to understand that in order to influence others he or she needs to appreciate their own and others need for affection, our need to show and receive care. This need is fine tuned in relation to Donald O’Cliftons’’ bucket theory that states that recognition and acknowledgement is a basic need of all people to appreciate and experience overall wellbeing.
4.3 Transactional Analysis: Child, Parent and Adult:
Whilst on route to greatness and the next level of excellence, the client grows aware of their ego state, communicating from a Child (acknowledges self only and ignores others), parental (judgmental subjective state of self-protection and nurturing) or adult (objective state that acknowledges others and aims to create meaning out of life that serves self and others which is aligned with the existentialist philosophy of this model). Empowered with this knowledge the client is better positioned to manage their influence on others (WE) and impact on circumstance (WORK) in a behaviorally intelligent manner.
4.4 Platform for decision making: Role, Responsibility, Choice and Consequence:
Lastly the journey empowers the client with self-knowledge to unpack their role and related responsibilities according to which understanding and clarity they need to make choices which creates their circumstance. The client grows aware of how these roles and responsibilities changes constantly according to the context they find themselves i.e. personal or professional as well as relationships such as with peers, family, and friend’s colleagues. This severs to provide the client with clarity to appreciate the role they hold in relation to the choices they need to make and be better positioned to preempt the outcome (consequences). This positions the client to act behaviorally intelligent as they manifest their goals through their actions.
5. Overarching approach
Spirit – Subdue Soul – Surrender Body – Serve
This model is based on a Christian approach that creates awareness with the client to embrace their spiritual self as the centre and subdue their will to God and Jesus Christ. Secondly to surrender “self” to the will of God. Thirdly the body as the outer layer of a person serves “self” and others through behavioral intelligent behavior.
There is no beginning or end to the model. The client dictates their life position and or starting position and the coach through asking powerful questions assist the client to self-discovery to uncover his or her desires, needs and goals. From there on the coach supports the client to articulate what their path will look like to attain their goal. For each client a different part of the model will resonate with their spirit and or soul at different points of their journey. The coach’s role is to assist the client to articulate the starting point of their journey and support them from thereon.