Coaching Model: Growing a Pearl

A Coaching Model By Caryl Earwaker Luethy, Transformation and Resilience Coach, SWITZERLAND

Growing a Pearl: Empowering Women to Become Strong, Positive, Confident and Resilient

As women, we are often in times of transition with a lot of challenges. It can be very difficult to adapt to the changing roles, situations, expectations, and physical changes along the way.

Pearls form when a grain of sand makes its way into the oyster shell and the oyster does what it can to reduce the discomfort. Layers of Mother of Pearl are deployed to cover the sand crystal and reduce the irritation until a smooth pearl is the end result. The core value of my Pearl Coaching Model mirrors the growth of a beautiful pearl – for the client to be able to grow through the presenting life challenges and emerge or re-emerge as a strong, confident, positive, and resilient woman – like a real pearl.

For the unlearned, old age is Winter, for the learned, it is the season of Harvest– The Talmud

I believe that everything that we need to know, we carry within. Sometimes our life experiences have gone off in a direction where we have become estranged from this intuition and we need a space where we can reconnect with this inner knowing to set sail in a different direction.

My role as a Transformation and Resilience Coach is to provide a platform for my clients to listen to this inner wisdom and reconnect with their intuition. The foundation of my coaching style is holistic and based on a balanced blend of the softer Yin elements of Positive Psychology and the more energetic and practical Yang elements of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy ( CBT).

As an eternal optimist and believer in the power of positivity, I am intrigued by the definition of the stages of happiness summarized by the Guru of Positive Psychology – Martin Seligman. The path to happiness that we all may go through has three main stages –the initial stage of seeking pleasure and gratification, developing our strengths and virtues, to the top stage of finding lasting fulfillment, meaning, and purpose in our lives.

From my experience as a mother of a wonderful young woman with an intellectual difference, going through various transitions has been a rollercoaster ride of these stages of happiness, with most of the time being at the pinnacle of finding deep fulfillment, meaning, and purpose. As the mother of our daughter, I have been an educator, advocate, and fighter for nearly 20 years and have traversed all of the stages of happiness. As our daughter became more independent in her life, I struggled to let go of the mother role, as it had been my main focus and purpose for many years and was very rewarding. This realization helped create a new transition and I embarked again on the journey to revisit my strengths and virtues, to find a different role and journey for happiness alongside being a mother.

Previously I trained in New Zealand as a counselor and in England as a Bach Flower Therapist. Discovering coaching has put the cherry on my existing cake and enabled the use of all of my various strengths, passions, and experiences to find new meaning and life’s purpose. Empowering and motivating other strong women going through a similar transition to rediscover positivity, confidence, and resilience in their journeys, has been a natural choice of direction.

Another strong influence stemming from my counseling experience and training that influences my coaching style is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. More commonly referred to as ‘CBT’, it is a common type of talk therapy that looks deeper at presenting problems. It aims to help clients notice and change unhelpful thought patterns, beliefs, attitudes, and behavior, to be able to face difficulties and achieve goals. By incorporating these skills into coaching conversations, these perspectives can be unpacked and addressed and new, more helpful ways of thinking can be explored. Practical techniques such as journaling, mind-mapping, visualization, drawing, role-playing, and other creative techniques may be used to practice new ideas and move forwards.

The Pearl Space

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom – Anais Nin

The coaching space that I provide is like the Pearl shell – It provides a safe and secure sanctuary for the client – as the Pearl – to retreat, and take the time and space to gather her energy and inspiration to blossom and discover her own pearls of wisdom.

Coaching empowers the client to set the wheels in motion to become more resilient through reframing mindsets, nurturing new beliefs and behavior, and identifying and developing new abilities.

How Does the Pearl Appear in My Coaching Model?

The Pearl has two presentations in the model – the visual metaphor of the Client’s Transformation through coaching to be strong, positive, confident, and resilient as a real Pearl.

But also in the acronym PEARL – which reflects my personal style and philosophical values that are shared in the coaching process:

Positivity,
Empowerment,
Authenticity,
Resilience and
Letting go

In order to be happy, we must first possess inner contentment – and inner contentment doesn’t come from having all we want, but rather wanting and appreciating all we have – Dalai Lama

Positivity

I was born and have managed to stay my whole life through many ups and downs as a pure Optimist. To be resilient, we all need to have a slice of this optimism – to believe that we can and will ride the wave through difficulties and come out the other side. I nurture this quality in clients through

• using humor and celebrating positive energy shifts
• Inviting Gratitude to enhance happiness and satisfaction
• Celebrating progress during coaching

If you give a hungry man a fish, you feed him for a day, but if you teach him how to fish, you feed him for a lifetime Lao Tsu

Empowerment

Walking tall and being proud of ourselves helps us to step into our power and be more resilient. I encourage and support clients to rediscover their Confidence through :

• Identifying and celebrating natural Strengths and Talents
• Focusing on the power of living in the Now – accepting the past, celebrating the present, and having faith in the future
• Increasing Courage through practicing facing and overcoming any fears

Authenticity

By being my true, authentic, and imperfect self, I encourage each client to let go of any facades that have built up over the years, to reconnect with her original and authentic self through :

• Modeling and celebrating imperfection as a healthy ‘Norm’
• Coaching from a place of not knowing, using pure curiosity
• Embracing crises as an invitation to change

Resilience

To be truly resilient, we need to be able to bounce back when the going gets tough. Having an overview of our situations gives us the space and grace to regroup our energy and build resilience. I encourage my clients to:

• Develop compassion for herSelf and others
• Not label emotions as good or bad, just as helpers that things are out of balance and something is wanting to instill change
• Reframe weaknesses as an opportunity for change

Letting go

In the end, only three things matter: How much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you. Buddha

Being a recovering Perfectionist, I have learned and am still learning how to let go of a multitude of beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors that do not serve me. From this experience, I realize the importance to help clients to:

• Look at the bigger picture and take a lighter approach to life
• Recognize and let go of unhelpful beliefs or patterns
• Be unconditionally happy

Each Pearl is uniquely formed and comes in all shapes and colors, it all depends on what a client gathers along their personal journey, as to the size, tone of the color, and depth of the texture that will emerge. Clients will be encouraged to take risks and move from the ordinary to the extraordinary, to find their ‘flow’ in their transition to feel lighter and more energized. To move forward with strength, positivity, confidence, and resilience.

To be the Pearl.

One day you will look back and see that all along you were blooming – Morgan Harper Nichols

References

Ackerman, Courtney.2022 www.positivepsychology.com 25 CBT Techniques and Worksheets for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Riggio, Ronald. 2012 www.psychologytoday.com There’s Magic in your smile – How smiling affects your Brain
Stewart, Julia. 2014 www.schoolofcoachingmastery.com Coaching with Neuroplasticity Exercises: 9 Fascinating Facts
Psihoyos, Louie www.medium.com Tahitian Black Pearls
Maragos, Jim www.papahanaumokuakea.gov Black Lipped Tahitian Black Pearl Oyster