JUST TALK

A Coaching Model By Jana Glezova, Expatriate Coach, CZECH REPUBLIC

Encourage Clients to JUST TALK Openly

I’m an emphatic and open-minded person who had to adjust to many different cultures in my lifetime. I’ve decided to become an expatriate and bilingual families coach. I support people in situations that are connected with moving to foreign countries for any reason and so do I support international families and their members individually or as a whole. I’m client focused coach who is here always for her clients.

After years of observation, I’ve noticed that people have often difficulties finding someone in their lives they can trust. Not only when they want to share personal matters that are embracing each day of their lives but also at the workplace or at school.

Most of us have a lot of friends that we like to spend our time with, but are these friends really those, with whom we share our problems, secrets, and desires without being afraid of being judged? The world we live in is beautiful and full of amazing days followed by great experiences but it can also be very fast, judgmental, and often not fair. We all have sometimes the feeling that we are completely alone in this world. It would be great to have someone we would be able to talk to, and that person would actually listen to us without any prepossessions. I believe that having the option of talking to someone who will actively listen and support us in any matter, can provide us with certainty and help us go through our lives on an easier and more understanding path. These are some of the many reasons why I’ve decided to become a coach.

The JUST TALK model was designed to encourage my clients to talk to me openly. It is not automatic that every person is open to sharing their feelings, difficulties, or decisions. I always explain to them that while talking to me they will never be judged and the session will always hold on to complete confidentiality. Also, while using the JUST TALK model I make sure my sessions include concealed parts such are: Non-judgmental space, Understanding, Sensitivity, Trustful environment, and brace with Accountability, and it will bring a new Knowledge.

JUST TALK

J – Judgment

U – Understanding

S – Sensitivity

T – Trust

A – Accountability / Acceptance

L – Listening

K – Knowledge

Judgment

As a coach, I believe it’s important to create a non-judgmental space, where my clients feel safe and are not judged under any circumstances. The key is to realize that we can’t let anyone judge us, nor ourselves. We all are special in our own special way and no one has the right to tell us what is right or wrong. We never know what exactly is behind someone’s behavior or actions, we don’t live their lives and we also don’t know what made them do so. We all should leave our judgment as far as possible and try to work on it.

It is interesting to think about what is so attractive about judgment anyways. We should ask ourselves;

• What makes us judge?
• What is that what feels so good about judging others?
• What is that we can do about self-judgment?

The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence. J. Krishnamurti

For me, as a professional coach, it’s very important that I attend every session “empty” and without any pre-judgmental thinking. I’m always absolutely open-minded and respectful with my clients about any topic they bring into the session.

Understanding

Understanding ourselves is not as easy as it sounds. Understanding our feelings, our abilities, and our lack of how to deal with them properly is an art that needs to be worked on for years, if not a lifetime.

Every person is unique as same as every person brings to the sessions a completely different topic they want to talk about. It’s important that my clients understand what exactly they want to achieve by the end of the session. It doesn’t always have to be clear at the beginning and the session can twist into different paths. Me, as a coach I support everyone to get to understand themselves as well as their thoughts and steps.

Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery. J.K. Rowling

Sensitivity

People often think that emotions make us weak but it’s actually making us understand ourselves. It’s important to be able to manage our emotions but not to control them. Knowing how to manage our emotions means we understand them which helps us to use them correctly and in a balanced way. When we try to control our emotions that means we suppress them and that isn’t effective in any way. We should never regret being sensitive or emotional, it’s proof that we’re not afraid to show our emotions to others.

As Anthon St. Maarten said;

There is no shame in expressing your authentic feelings 

and we all should keep this on our minds. Also, I always make sure that I follow my intuition and identify the sensitivity of the topic my client brings to the session.

Highly sensitive people are too often perceived as weaklings or damaged goods. To feel intensely is not a symptom of weakness; it is the trademark of the truly alive and compassionate. It is not the empath who is broken; it is society that has become dysfunctional and emotionally disabled. There is no shame in expressing your authentic feelings. Those who are at times described as being a ‘hot mess’ or having ‘too many issues’ are the very fabric of what keeps the dream alive for a more caring, humane world. Never be ashamed to let your tears shine a light in this world. Anthon St. Maarten

Trust

Trust isn’t a skill, it’s a belief. Also, it’s a foundation for establishing a relationship between the client and the coach. Hence, creating a trustful environment during every session is an essential base. What I have learned over the past years of being a coach working with people from all around the world is that honesty is the key. When we honestly talk, we trust and the trust gives us a sense of safety. Later, it helps us open up more, especially when the problem includes circumstances that are hard to talk about.  It’s fundamental to brace clients to be able to trust not only me but most importantly in themselves.

As long as you trust yourself, you will know how to live. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Accountability

Accountability means that we voluntarily set goals for ourselves. Me, as a coach I’m holding my client accountable but I don’t pressure anyone with responsibility. The main difference in my viewpoint is that responsibility makes us feel more “a pressure” on the contrary accountability makes us more “willing to do so”.  For example; “When I say, I want to start running – it’s mine – I own the goal and I feel empowered.” My clients are always in the “driving seat” to decide which direction they feel like driving. The key is that the client owns the progress.

Mistakes are the proof that you’re trying. Jennifer Lim

Listening

It sounds so simple – listen. But do we? Do we really always listen to everything that others are sharing with us? Maybe it goes through one ear in and right out through the other one. Perhaps we just want to listen to reply – to say our thoughts and opinions. Real listening requires concentration and a mean follow-up when responding. Active listening is a tool that we coach and train continuously into perfection to be 100% present for our clients. As same as I’m present and am listening to my clients I also motivate them to actively listen and follow up on what they are saying and how are they answering my questions. It’s essential to make them realize that depending on how properly they listen would reflect their answers and their future knowledge and understanding of the topic they brought and want to work on.

Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity, we don’t listen with the intent to reply. We listen for what’s behind the words. Roy T. Bennett

Knowledge

Getting new knowledge about ourselves is something we should celebrate. It’s important we acknowledge our achievements but also our failures. Once we found out more, we feel like it gives us energy, we’re inspired and motivated. Hence, we aren’t afraid to take action in our lives.

No thief, however skillful, can rob one of knowledge, and that is why knowledge is the best and safest treasure to acquire. L. Frank Baum

JUST TALK Is Beneficial

An observation that sometimes talking helps, brought me to my coaching model that was created within time. Ensuring my clients that they are with me in a safe environment while talking is the key. 

As a coach with a focus on expatriates and bilingual families, I encourage my clients to talk. Sometimes moving to a foreign country because of work or family is not exactly what we wanted in the first place and we need to be able to talk about our thoughts.

References

Krishnamurti, J. (2021). Judgment Quotes. Goodreads.com, Retrieved December 1, 2021
Roy T. Bennett. (2020). Inspirational Thoughts for Living Your Best Life (1st ed.) [E-book]. Roy Bennett.
Rowling, J. K. (2000, July 8). Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (1st ed., Vol. 636). Bloomsbury.
Maarten, A. S. (2012). Divine Living: The Essential Guide To Your True Destiny (1st ed.) [E-book]. KDP Print US.
Lim, J. I. (2002). Jennifer I. Lim (Author of Age-Related Macular Degeneration). Www.Goodreads.Com.
Baum, L. F. (2009). L. Frank Baum (author of The wonderful wizard of oz). Goodreads. Retrieved April 13, 2022, from