The CARE Coaching Model

A Coaching Model By Michelle Piasecki, Life Coach, UNITED STATES

CARE: A Caring Concept When Experiencing Burnout

Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.– Louise L. Hay

Self-criticism, feelings of inadequacy, and measuring oneself to everyone else are vast components of socially prescribed perfectionism, which can lead to a higher level of burnout than other forms of perfectionism, according to research. These feelings and behaviors can appear in one or many facets of life, impacting how you see yourself as a parent, employee, boss, manager, sibling, or child. As a result, it can leave you feeling hopeless, helpless, and ineffectual.

The key is acting before you reach this level of despair, and by showing yourself C.A.R.E. with this coaching model, you can heal and prevent yourself from getting to this state again. This coaching model starts with compassion, a necessary component of the healing process. Another feature to note is that this begins and ends with compassion, which is the reason for its cyclical representation. To find a resolution, you could use this model more than once, and in some instances, you will need this repetition to see success.

Defining the CARE Model

Before looking at the applications of this model, it is essential to look at its components. Each component is a step in helping yourself heal from burnout.

Compassion: The first step is to give yourself enough compassion to pause and consider why you have reached that level of burnout. You got to the current state after some time. It took a perfect storm to get you here, so give yourself some grace. You will need this compassion to move forward, and you will need to provide yourself with compassion to find truthful answers to the questions below.

Acknowledge: The next step is to acknowledge where you are and how you got to this place of despair. This process will take some coaching and some analysis. You can coach yourself through this process, but it is a matter of asking yourself the right questions and providing the correct answers.

When acknowledging where you are, ask yourself:

• What are the signs of burnout?
• What happened to let me know that this is where I am?
• In what way is where I am now different from where I was?
• What is the gap between where I am and where I want to be?

When acknowledging how you got here, ask yourself:

• What are the factors that led me to burnout?
• Out of these factors, which one is the biggest culprit? (You could rank the causes to see if multiple factors contributed.)
• Often burnout is the result of emptying yourself of energy. What are your biggest energy drainers? What are the most significant ways you refuel your energy that is not a priority right now? (i.e., sleep, healthy eating habits, exercise, journaling, reading, having fun)

Reflect/Reframe: Consider where you are and how you got there. As you reflect on the causes of your burnout, it is essential to look at these causes truthfully. To do this, you need to ask another slate of questions. Again, the right questions help you search for the correct answers. This process of questioning and reflecting is the benefit of a coach, who can help create this habit of asking questions and not taking everything at face value.

When reflecting and reframing, ask yourself:

• Of the factors listed, what factors are not true or could be changed? Tackle these factors individually, and list solutions for each or a new habit you could develop to increase self-care and decrease burnout.
• Picture yourself energized and excited. What do you need to do to get there? What are you missing, and what are you doing that works?
• Now reframe your goals in a positive context that supports your well-being instead of devaluing self-care. What will you do to move forward and avoid getting back to this level of burnout?

Empathize: At this point, it is time to give yourself some grace. You didn’t get to burnout overnight. More than likely, it happened after creating habits all in the name of productivity and success that undermine your well-being. So this step is to remind yourself of a few vital questions as you work to overcome hustle culture and burnout.

• Review your answers from the Acknowledge step. What did the process look like that got you to the point of burnout? What can you do to protect yourself from falling into the same habits?
• Now, honestly answer: How long did it take you to reach that point? How long did it take you to develop any of these bad habits? This awareness will give you empathy when healing doesn’t happen as quickly as you would like.
• How long do you feel it will take to create these healthy, self-care habits that aid your productivity? Setting realistic expectations will ensure you follow through and keep pursuing these goals.

The CARE Model Addresses Your Inner Critic and Your Burnout Journey

The C.A.R.E. model can help you better understand and address your inner critic and your journey into burnout. This journey is different for each person because what causes burnout for one person might energize another. A coach is a valuable part of the process because a coach can ask you the right questions to ensure you are fulfilling your own needs instead of the wants or vision of others, another factor that contributes to burnout. The long-term goal, however, is to learn to adapt this process to a system that works for you in avoiding and managing burnout while reaching your goals.