From there I have him sort everything on the page into categories such as: Relationships, Work, Money, Health, Home, Spirit, etc. as these will be broken down further in the Simplification stage. During this stage I also ask him to complete the Wheel of Life exercise to determine self-satisfaction in these areas.
Sorting creates the awareness necessary to see what matters and what doesn’t. It also helps distinguish which items on the list are a reality and which items are made up in his mind.
Simplify
The simplification stage can be the most agonizing as it requires my client to challenge deep seated ideas, values, perspectives, and patterns. This is where my client gets to decide what makes it past the gatekeeper of the mind and what gets tossed to the side. Some frequent thought bullies may be persistent in getting in but as mindfulness becomes the focus, the old way of thinking is repelled.
This stage is all about helping the client break down each area to its simplest form. Similar to an episode of Hoarders, there may be resistance to letting go of old patterns even when these patterns are detrimental to the growth of my client. Once he starts to see the most beloved items rise to the top it starts to become easier to let go of all the surrounding baggage.
From the sorted list I will have my client go through each item as quickly as possible and intuitively cross off anything that is unnecessary, unreal or undeserving of his mind space. What remains is what we will work through simplifying further. This is where I support the client by digging deeper into why each item is on the list and which ones are only there because he thinks it should be, because someone else is dictating it, or any other reason that doesn’t serve him.
A strong coaching presence is vital to keep my client focused on staying in the moment and only choosing what is real and good. Through compassionate accountability and consistent follow through I assist my client in achieving his goals.
Love
The final and most thrilling stage is of Love. This is what my client has been wanting yet it can still be difficult to embrace. In the Love stage I help my client enjoy everything he does or has. From the simplification stage he should be able to question himself in a way that drills down what’s most important in any circumstance. Some things aren’t pleasant but necessary in daily living. A good coaching question would be,
How can you make this fun or enjoyable?
Then I ask my client to explore what makes him happy and how he can apply it to the given item or situation. The Love stage is lifelong and my client will remain in a constant state of learning how to make love the focus.
Where there is love there is life Mahatma Ghandi
As my client becomes more love focused he can divert some of the love to the needs of others. This is where the love and enjoyment inside is projected onto others. This in turn cycles back to him as more love and fulfillment.