Questions for reflection:
H- Hold the Space to Have feelings
Discomfort is an internal warning system with the main goal to get our attention. Like the smoke alarm of our system it warns that there is a blaze burning somewhere. Therefore, within every physical symptom, worry, stress, disappointment, and frustration there is wisdom pointing to a deeper cause; a system within a system. Feelings then can become a doorway to transformation because they can lead inward to cause.
The purpose of feelings is to give information. Feeling can gift both the wisdom of “what” needs healing and the energy to utilize to do so. Using the fire alarm analogy, it would be of no value to us to simply turn off the alarm and hope that the fire would go away. If we numb our feelings we turn down the volume of our inner guidance and on our whole life.
Feelings are energy and thus they require movement. Like the water element they represent they can become stagnant and fetid without flow. Physically anchored feelings can create patterns of inflammation, pain, excess weight, even disease. Anchored feelings in our mind can create worry, anxiety, even panic. Anchored feelings in our spirit can disconnect us from intuitive, passion, and purpose. So, feelings are meant to be felt, named, and listened to.
The Model:
This step is represented by the parts of the self that anchors us from forward movement. It is about feeling the limitations in place and intentionally working through the first step to letting them go. This is where the energy is burned off by the honest sharing of the story and any feeling tied to it. With clients it is the coaches’ task to hold the space for empathy and honest reflection by acknowledging the clients vulnerability and courage. Somatic connection to feeling can also be helpful at this point.
Questions for reflection:
O- Observation creates Accountability
Once some of the energy of feelings has discharged there can be a shift to observation. Observation gives the benefit of defusing from the situation or feelings in such a way that perception is gained. It is a space of fluid curiosity and pause that is neither grasping nor pushing away. From this witness perspective there can an empowering shift in understanding that life is not what is happening to us but what is happening for us and that there is the potential for wisdom in every situation. Additionally, the fact that the self is watching the self reveals a truth that we are more than we may think we are. The gift of observation is to expand perception to include the bigger picture; not just what we know but what we don’t yet know. It is from this wider view that patterns of co-creation, both conscious and subconscious, can be discovered and observed and new possibilities emerge.
Accountability (the ability to be accountable) takes this further one step by placing the emphasis of change at our own feet. Patterns of co-creation can be highlighted and new choices made. Accountability is a sacred tool because it puts the power back into the one who wields it. Making our discord sacred means we can begin to soften into a place of mindfulness where we are open to learn just what our circumstances, symptoms, and feelings are trying to tell us. We may not consciously choose every life event but we have the freedom to choose how we perceive and respond to it. Accountability is the seed to change because it affirms the right to consciously choose the direction and then act accordingly.
The Model:
By taking a step back and with conscious observation we can begin to see deeper into the process of change by noting what patterns of limiting beliefs (anchors) and behavior patterns emerge. Inquiry with awareness is about paying attention, asking hard questions, and seeking deeper meaning. It is about listening to the voice of intuition and it is about claiming empowerment by owning the grace choice. In this step it is the coaches’ responsibility to listen without judgment or expectation, ask powerful questions, and allow the client to go deeper into their process.
Questions for reflection:
L- Love is Letting go by Leaning in
With observation and accountability we awaken to the sacredness of life.
To love means to include, to unite, and to connect. Love means meeting circumstances and sensations without expectations that it be different, but with clarity and presence. When we lean into our feelings and situation we open the space to learn, grow, and transform with graceful acceptance. Force or resistance creates counterforce and has the tendency to strengthen more of what we do not want. What we hide or tuck away in shadow does not disappear but shows up in our lives as circumstances. So lovingly leaning into our challenge integrates a quality of energy that does not demand perfection, but asks that we be whole. We are light and shadow, spirit and flesh, simple and complex. So leaning into Love is one of unification not separation. In our bodies, the energy of Love is integrating and healing.
To lovingly embrace change we must let go on some levels. Change means moving from a place of familiarity to uncharted territory. Letting go is about making space for something new. Old patterns, behaviors, thoughts, beliefs and strategies are released so a new rush of energy can flow in and integrate. Letting go is the creative tension between who think we are and our essential nature.
Letting go often requires forgiveness. In ancient Aramaic the word forgiveness meant “to cancel” or “undo”. Forgiveness is not about changing what happened but about changing our mind, our stores and beliefs, about what happened. Forgiveness is the tools to the process of letting go because it has the ability to undo all the resentments that bind us and we can open to new unlimited potential and where new rules apply.
Model:
With Loving intent we can lean into letting go by wiling acknowledging the anchors keeping us stuck in the past and taking the action step of forgiveness to move undo them. Forgiveness is a Holistic experience because it begins to change beliefs at a core level. The coach can offer acknowledgement, support, and honest feedback to help the client reach this step.
Questions for reflection:
E- Energize and Empower to move forward in a NEW way
By being willing, by feeling, by observing, by loving and by letting go we release energy stuck in our bodies and stuck in our past into present time. Carolyn Myss, medical intuitive, mystic, and healer, reports we need at least 60% of our energy in present time to heal anything. With more energy in the present and with freedom from habitual beliefs we can then move forward with conscious choice, vitality, purpose, empowerment, and clarity. We are empowered with new beliefs and new intentions. We are W.H.O.L.E.
Model
In this step we consciously and willingly invite new energy into the present. Somatically breathe into the feelings rushing it to the space and practicing gratitude and acknowledgment to integrate the transformation.
