With Merci Miglino, MCC
Most people naturally want to do well and be part of a successful effort. When you “tell” people what to do (and all too often how to do it) they tend to receive telling as a command, demand or even a threat.
This generally has people feeling like they “have to” do something rather than “wanting to.”
The next time you’re tempted to tell people like your family, friends and colleagues what to do, consider asking and see if you get better results.
Ah but what do you ask?
Try on some of these open-ended coaching questions:
- What do you think?
- What’s one thing we could do right now?
- What obstacles do you anticipate?
- What can you do more or less of, or differently?
- How can I best support you?
Here are some things you might notice:
- Asking can produce a better answer than you might have
- Asking leads to people learning how to solve their own problems
- Asking makes your life so much simpler because you’ll have more time, less stress and a better bottom line!
As many coaches knows, this takes some getting used to and practicing is the key but really the next time you want to “tell” what could you “ask” instead?