The True Self Coaching Model

A Coaching Model By David Curry, Personal Growth Coach, UNITED STATES

The True Self

Becoming Who You Truly Are Through Breathwork – Meditation Neuroscience And Coaching

A majority of people in the world go through life unaware of their true selves. They live within a constructed sense of self-identity, also known as the ego. The ego is always concerned with a sense of lacking. It always wants something different than this present moment. Nothing is ever enough to satisfy it. Living within one’s ego can cause a whole host of problems in a person’s life, difficulty in relationships, fear and anxiety, inflexibility, and a lack of fulfillment.

Coupled with this is the way our brains have evolved to focus on the negative.  In evolutionary terms, it was more helpful to our ancestors’ survival to pay much closer attention to threats than to things that were pleasurable. As Dr. Rick Hanson wrote in his wonderful book, Hardwiring Happiness, “If you fail to get a carrot today, you’ll have another chance to get one tomorrow, but if you fail to avoid a stick today – whap! –  no more carrots forever.”  This evolutionary-wired negativity bias is still with us today.  Instead of real threats to survival, we are faced with negative experiences that our brains perceive as threats. Your brain doesn’t know the difference between a nasty mail from your boss and a tiger about to eat you.  This bias causes your brain to place more importance on negative experiences than positive ones. It is estimated that people need to have at least three times more positive experiences than negative ones in order to thrive.  In relationships, that number is even higher at five to one.

So, it’s no wonder that so many of us are going through life angry, resentful, sad, and dissatisfied. Fortunately for those who are open to it and who are seeking change, there is True Self Coaching. True Self Coaching follows a process involving breathwork, meditation, neuroplasticity training, and coaching. This process can help clients break free of their ego, achieve a sense of inner calm, re-wire their neural pathways, and become who they truly are.  By achieving this, clients will be able to bring a lasting sense of happiness and accomplish what they really want in their lives.

The Ultimate Goal of the True Self Model

The Process

The ultimate goal of the True Self Model is to help clients break free of the illusion that they are their ego. This can be quite challenging, as we have been conditioned to believe that our self-created (or even externally created) identities are, in fact, who we are. This process can help clients discover conscious awareness. This allows them to be aware of their thoughts and feelings without identifying with them. Through conscious awareness, clients can detach themselves from the ego and discover their true self.

Assessment

Clients will begin with a questionnaire designed to assess their readiness for the different aspects of the program.   Based on the information provided, clients will be evaluated regarding the best starting point. The ideal client will come to my practice with an openness to experience the process in the order described above. The order of this process is not a one-size-fits-all, however, and it may be necessary to have some clients start at a different phase before moving back to breathwork and meditation.

Breathwork

Different types of breathwork instruction and practice will be appropriate starting points for different clients. This will be based on what is learned during the assessment. Factors will include, physical health, current mental state, past trauma, and experience in both breathwork and other mindfulness programs. The goal will be to move the client through progressively more transformative practices. Beginning clients will start with simple techniques such as box breathing and humming bee breath. More advanced clients will incorporate techniques such as Xi breathing and dynamic breathwork. All breathing techniques are valuable and provide excellent benefits as a stand-alone practice. In True Self Coaching, these techniques are used as a shortcut to help prepare the mind and body to more easily enter a meditative state.

Meditation

As with breathwork, mediation instruction, and practice will be tailored to the needs of the client.   For clients with no mediation experience, it is extremely helpful to learn to mediate in a measured manner.  Training will consist of learning focused attention on different objects of meditation. Clients will be instructed in four areas of awareness:

• Level 1. Focused attention – the object of meditation will be the breath, mantra, and body scan.
• Level 2. Flexible awareness – the object of mediation will switch from one thing to another with the breath as an anchor.
• Level 3. Open awareness – the object of mediation will be the mind and its thoughts and feelings as an object.
• Level 4. Natural awareness – in this style of meditation, awareness itself becomes the object of focus.

Each of these levels is a jump in the profound effect the practice can have on a person’s life.  However, It is unnecessary to progress through all the levels to experience meaningful change.

Neuroscience

This stage can be a stand-alone but will often be conducted with the framework of one-on-one coaching. People often think that they are stuck with the brain they have. Because they’ve always done or thought about something in a certain way, this is impossible to change. Modern neuroscience, specifically the field of neuroplasticity, has shown that this isn’t true.  It is literally possible for a person to re-wire their brain! Clients will be walked through a range of techniques to help facilitate this process. It is not a quick fix though, and clients will be required to work hard to make lasting changes in their neural structure.

Coaching

Clients who have gone through the first 3 phases of the True Self process will have increased their self-awareness, created a shift in perspective, let go of attachments to self-created identities, as well as be in a relaxed and open state. This puts clients in a great position to begin coaching. Coaching will be focused on clients finding their own path to bringing about their true selves. Clients will develop and implement goals that will work towards helping them achieve what they want in their lives.

References

Hanson, R. (2013). Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence. Harmony.
Tolle, E. (2005). A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose.