A Coaching Power Tool By Louise Yin Luo, Life & Career Coach, UNITED KINGDOM
Uncertainty vs. Possibility in Life
One of the biggest challenges everyone faces is dealing with uncertainty. Dr Julwel Kenney
Life is full of uncertainties. It can be the recent global pandemic and lockdown restrictions, a business organisational change and restructuring, an economic slowdown with record-breaking inflation, the energy crisis, war, climate change or any form of natural disaster. These are just some of the obvious examples of uncertainty, but we understand that everyone experience uncertainty in life. Can anyone predict the future? No. There are so many things that are outside of our control.
What Is the Difference Between Uncertainty vs. Possibility
This power model focuses on Uncertainty vs. Possibility. Uncertainty gives us stress, anxiety and fear. However, the possibility may make us feel hopeful, positive and energised. What is the new possibility that this uncertainty may create for us? How can we focus on what we can control and channel our energy, time and resources to achieve the best possibility in an uncertain situation or life event? When we embrace uncertainty, we are open to endless possibility.
Uncertainty
What is uncertainty? Uncertainty is defined as 1. “a situation in which something is not known, or something that is not known or certain”;2. “the feeling of not being sure what will happen in the future”.
How do you feel when you experience uncertainty? Research proved uncertainty is a major cause of stress as it interrupts our ability to plan for the future.“Fear of the unknown can trigger the physiological state of stress, says Patel-Dunn. Stress, which often activates our fight-or-flight response, results in physical changes like hormone surges and an increased heart rate. Over time, chronic stress can have a negative impact on your health, increasing the risk for cardiovascular disease and memory loss.”
I experienced uncertainty when I graduated from university and started my first job. I was new to the corporate world and had to learn everything from scratch. I had to figure out how to dress appropriately, how to speak in meetings and when to attend after-work drinks.
Before I had the chance to celebrate my first success at work, my business organisation undertook an organisational change and made many teams redundant including the team I was in. I became the youngest employee to be on the redundancy programme. This was totally unexpected for a young graduate with excellent grades from the World’s top universities in the UK and who has just joined the work market. What was more uncertain was that this role was tied to my work visa in London. This meant I must leave London if I was not able to find the next role fast enough. If I leave my job and then leave London, this could result in me separating from my now husband. It was uncertainty, uncertainty and uncertainty.
Fast forwarding to after I joined a bigger and better business organisation, I experienced uncertainty with even more frequent changes including two times of maternity leaves and a successful new transition and promotion to Director. I had some of the best bosses and a couple of difficult characters. I had experienced being nominated to a global talent accelerating programme with outstanding recognition, to being part of another redundancy programme. I had experienced focusing very hard when single before marriage, to having to juggle and learn to balance family and young children with work when becoming a working parent. What the last more than 10 years of corporate experience had taught me was that “change is the only constant”, and uncertainty is unavoidable as no one can predict the future.
Possibility
What is a possibility? The possibility is defined as 1.“a chance that something may happen or be true”; 2. “something that you can choose to do in a particular situation”.
How do you feel when you think of the possibility? When you focus on possibility, you may feel hopeful, positive and energised.
In my case, I accepted things happened for a reason and I chose to focus on the things that I can control. When I first found out about the redundancy news after less than 6 months of my first role in a global bank, I first experienced fear and stress like everyone else, then I navigated for help and a new possibility. I wrote to a senior leader from another business function about my situation and how I wished to continue contributing to the organisation through a different role or secondment opportunity. We had only met briefly once at a charity fundraising event, but she remembered who I was. I transitioned quickly to start on a secondment opportunity in her sales team for 3 months only, which served as a perfect stepping stone for a fast-track promotion onto another more senior role in a team that I dreamt of joining since the start! This was my first case of turning uncertainty into an ideal possibility. My confidence jumped and I was performing exceptionally well for the next couple of years.
Let me share another real experience with handling uncertainty during maternity leave. I have always been a great performer at work. A Dutch MD recognised my talent, so he nominated me for a global accelerating programme. We worked towards the goal of another job promotion by taking on bigger responsibilities and leading more complex initiatives. As part of the accelerating programme, the business also assigned me an executive coach to support me through my career development journey. That’s when I first exposed to coaching and later being inspired to learn coaching myself. Everything progressed as expected but soon my manager left the business for a better opportunity outside.
Another new manager immediately took over and he was a very difficult character to deal with. He paused my promotion process and said it would be reconsidered upon my return after my 1-year maternity leave. He also downgraded my performance rating substantially and was extremely critical of each piece of the work submitted. The level of uncertainty resulted in massive stress which I knew was not helpful during my first successful pregnancy after a recent miscarriage. I had a choice to quit work or to find a way to navigate a possibility. I approached a senior executive in confidence for support so I could start my maternity leave at the earliest possible time to break away from this negativity.
The other uncertainty about maternity leave is that you wouldn’t know what would happen in the space of that 1 year or however long you are away and what you can expect when you return. What would that look like? Is it the same role? Is it the same boss? Is it the same responsibility? It is not always smooth as we hope, and you may find it harder with your lack of sleep and lack of capacity. Again, I focused on what I can control and navigated for support in this case. I jumped over the hurdle and secured another better role after maternity leave and was so glad to move to a new team, a new environment and a new possibility.
Client Coaching Experience
Many coaching clients experience uncertainty and you may find this is a common perspective. We would want to help our clients accept the uncertainty and then focus on a new desired possibility.
Acceptance of uncertainty is important. “Acceptance can be thought of as the opposite of denial,” Sinclair says. “We don’t want uncertainty, and yet it’s part of our lives. Acceptance is saying ‘I’m willing to experience this uncertainty and accept it as part of my life,’ not that I like it.” How can our clients accept the uncertainty that they are encountering? We must listen actively with empathy to understand our client’s feelings with the uncertainty experienced.
Next is about reframing perspective. One power question I like is – “What would you like to do if anything is possible?” This would help the client to look beyond their current obstacles and limitations to think more freely about the possibilities that may present in front of them. I always observe a good silence on the client’s side after asking this question. One client came up with a new possibility that she had not thought about before the coaching session when she felt she had to look within the existing corporate structure and find a way to conform, but during the session, this question opened her up to a new idea of her becoming an independent business owner and freelancer.
I also like to ask – “What can help you?” and “Who can help you?” This would allow the client to brainstorm through their own resources and people network to navigate for support to help shift to that new desired possibility.
When the client is faced with a difficult decision to make which involves uncertainty, I like to focus the client’s look at the positive benefit of each possibility. “What would you gain if you choose to do this?” “What about the opposite, what would you gain if you choose to do that?” This would allow the client to generate and calculate potential benefits for each option which then helps to move towards a decision. A client articulated the benefits of option A and the benefits of option B, but as we processed the information, she concluded that there is a better possibility of Option C which was not previously considered.
Another question to help our clients see the possibility of choice is – “If we meet again in a year’s time, what do you think you would like to share with me?” This helps the client to picture this possibility and success actively. My client would often speak about what they wish to accomplish and how they would like to have done it.
In conclusion, we want us and our clients to embrace uncertainty, and find the new best possibility. Accept those things that are outside of our control and focus on the things that we can control. We want to flip uncertainty to possibility, to move on in life feeling hopeful, positive and energised!
References
Julwel Kenney, Bringing Out the Best in You Through Life Challenges.
Cambridge Dictionary
Keely Burch, how to deal with uncertainty
Travis Bradberry, 11 ways successful people overcome uncertainty