A Coaching Power Tool By Marta Potulna, Leadership and Optimal Performance Coach, AUSTRALIA
Transitions From Frustration vs. Flow
What happens when we get stuck in a place where we don’t get a chance to thrive and be the best version of ourselves? We all probably have been there once. The power tool I want to share is Frustration vs. Flow. It’s close to my heart because I have deeply experienced shifting from a place of disillusionment and frustration in my professional career to a place filled with worthwhile moments of personal and professional flow.
How to Recognize Frustration vs. Flow
Frustration
Frustration means the feeling of annoyance at disillusionment and disappointment. It also means anger is not directed at anything or anyone in particular. It derives from Latin frustrationem “a deception, a disappointment”, from frustra “in vain, in error”. We sometimes get stuck and end up in a place, in a job, in a relationship that disappoints, annoys, is in vain, or is an error. It’s not easy to move forward even if we intuitively know it’s not right for us. The main consequence of acting from frustration is increased irritability and anxiety which drain happiness and hinder our growth and possibility to thrive.
For me personally, this was the least productive state, where my creativity and natural potential stalled and my self-esteem was at its lowest. It takes courage and strength to get out of this state – this place, this job, or this relationship. It helps to think with an infinite mindset – have a strong belief in endless possibilities present out there for you to engage with everyday life in a meaningful and enjoyable way. It’s just a matter of finding your flow.
Flow
Flow means a state of mind and body when you effortlessly get immersed in doing something, fully focused, feeling engaged and energized, motivated, and ultimately happy.
Seeking flow and understanding how it feels and how to get to this state is life-changing. A shift in motivation is experienced, where the toil of the day-to-day gets replaced by the turbo boost of passion and purpose. The consequences of thinking and acting from the perspective of flow are more happiness from what we do every day.
Shifting From Frustration to Flow
In my coaching experience as a leadership coach, I help clients understand and find their “professional” flow – high engagement with their everyday professional life and careers. In my first successful flow coaching session, I invited my client to explore the parts of their daily tasks at work that bring the most lightness and joy to themselves. The beliefs present in the session were that there is no such thing as enjoyment at work, and that “work” is what you have to do to make ends meet. The lack of enjoyment and fulfillment at work impacted my client’s overall engagement with everyday life.
The client changed their perspective after discovering and acknowledging their innate talents and strengths. He realized he was naturally pulled toward tasks that allowed him to utilize his gifts. The turning point was the moment of awareness about what worthwhile moments look like and mean to him. And following there he invented creative ways of applying his talents to daily tasks at work.
My client made a choice to intentionally put his talents to use and create opportunities to do what they do best every day. The shift that I observed in the following sessions was from a place of frustration to a happy place of finding flow and a fulfilling and meaningful professional life.
Power of Questions in Finding Flow
The shift happened in my personal life when I asked myself the following questions:
- What does losing yourself in doing something look like to you?
- When you picture yourself totally immersed in something, what do you see?
- When your inner critic is silenced, what moment is that? What does it look like?
- If you think of a time when you are plunged into the present, a “deep now”, what is this moment? What do you do? Where are you at?
- What does effortless mean to you? How does it feel?
- If you were a captain of your own ship, what would you do? Where would you sail? Where would you be at? With whom?
- What does fulfillment mean to you? What fulfilling moments have you experienced so far?
- What does total focus on “now and here” mean to you?
- What does “outside your comfort zone” look like? How does it make you feel?
Acting from the perspective of flow is not just about feeling happier – it’s about creating worthwhile moments at work and in personal life. And ultimately, collecting worthwhile moments every day accumulates to a life worth living.