A Coaching Power Tool By Mauro Locarnini, Executive Coach, SWITZERLAND
How to Leverage Commitment vs. Choice
There are times in life for everything, what seems to be a key to keeping us moving forward is knowing when it is the right time to enable one perspective or another to drive our actions. Shifting perspectives is definitely not easy but essential for growth and development, and that is what coaching is all about. Therefore I found it interesting to analyze these two seemingly opposing perspectives (Commitment and Choice) and explore when each of them could be useful in our lives, how to shift from one to the other, and most importantly how to leverage them.
What’s the Difference Between Commitment vs. Choice
Introduction to Commitment:
Definition:
For the purpose of this tool, commitment is defined as the attachment to a cause, our expression of the will to strive to achieve some previously defined outcome.
Questions to identify when we are operating from this perspective:
- Do I feel the pressure to get this done by a certain deadline?
- Is this situation stressing me in any way?
- Do I see any other options? Am I able to go for any of these other options?
Questions to identify whether this perspective is currently supporting us or not:
- Is the stress created by this situation having positive or negative consequences on my effectiveness?
- Am I happy to fulfill this commitment?
- When I think about it, Do I feel energize or rather dried?
- Does it feel like a burden or like something that triggers our actions?
Introduction to Choice:
Definition:
For the purpose of this tool choice is defined as the decision we make when we are absolutely free to go for one option or another, thus choosing otherwise must represent no restriction to us. Note I am saying no restriction which is not the same as no harm. Many Choices may have not-so-pleasant outcomes, but facing the unpleasant consequences does not prevent us from choosing likewise, therefore we are actually choosing. When we fear the consequences enough to prevent us from choosing so, then we are acting out of our commitment.
Questions to identify when we are operating from this perspective:
- Does it come naturally to me to perform this activity?
- What kind of energy does this situation rouse in me?
- What are the consequences of not bearing with this choice?
Questions to identify whether this perspective is currently supporting us or not:
- Am I achieving the deadlines I had set for myself?
- How do I feel when the deadlines are not met?
- Do I foresee any undesired repercussions if I do not act urgently?
- Do setting deadlines make any sense to me?
Shifting from one perspective to the other
Activities that may help us shift from Commitment to Choice:
- Revisit your values and check whether this commitment is aligned with them or not.
- Think about what it would look like if you fulfilled your commitment. How would feel by then?
- If it is an unavoidable commitment. Think about the thing you will be enabled to do after you have fulfilled it. Wouldn’t you be then in a position in which you can choose to commit now in order to move forward then?
Activities that may help shift us from Choice to Commitment:
- When you are feeling your choice is giving you more freedom than what supports you further achieve and maybe some structure could make better sense, then… why not consider taking a few small commitments and strive to achieve them?
- Sometimes your choice is not big or challenging enough to draw sufficient energy to put you into action. Other times we have been down for a while and anything seems to be too big for us to start. In that situation making a very small commitment and fulfilling it could make us gain some confidence and go for a second and maybe a third commitment, every time a little bigger and so on. As we will discuss later being able to fulfill small commitments on a regular basis can help us build a strong foundation for big choices.
The intertwined nature of both perspectives:
You may have decided to marry someone several years ago; at that point, you most likely actually chose to do so. Chances are that at several points during the relationship the fact of being married worked as a commitment that prevented you from walking away from the relationship. There is nothing good or bad in it, you may have chosen to stick to your commitment. Not doing so would have probably hindered your opportunity to choose to share your life with your partner just a few days down the road.
The more we develop our ability to responsibly fulfilling our commitments, the more we start choosing to do so and therefore are able to bring more positive energy to our activities. Acting out of commitments is not only imperative at times but also constructive as we build on confidence in our ability to achieve more, we build on our sense of trustfulness, and in doing so we create further opportunities for choice.
In his famous book the 7 Habits of Highly effective people, Stephen Covey distinguishes proactive from reactive people characterizing the former as those who regularly explain what they do as their choice and the latter as people who explain their behavior as forced by the circumstances. Labeling people may hinder opportunities for change and as coaches, we want to keep them as open as possible, therefore wrong interpretations of his book may lead us to misuse. Nevertheless, we may find it very useful to encourage our clients to consciously choose their actions instead of going with the flow. When someone has gone beyond making this a habit and it became an overwhelming structure that freezes them stuck, then it would be a good time to revisit the value of commitment.
We have the right to change our choices, in so doing we may face some consequences, as far as we feel comfortable with them and they reinforce or redirect some sort of alignment to our purpose and values, this could be the right thing to do.
Some choices become commitments once announced, therefore I tend to think that real choices are those that you keep to yourself and do not need to communicate to others, they are very personal. On the other hand, they bring such energy and joy to our lives that we just feel the urge to share them.
You know that a choice is anchored in your values and life purpose when you feel free to make a new choice although you may have communicated to some important stakeholders the opposed choice before. This could mean you avoided it turning into a commitment. Great leaders have been seen doing it, in most cases only to reinforce their leadership.
At the end of the day, it is all about finding which perspective may support us at any point in time. For that to happen we have to strive to constantly raise our self-awareness and be open to change as and when required. In order to change we have to know our opportunities this is what this and many other power tools are meant to do: present the different perspectives we may want to consider.