Power Tool: Happiness vs. Pleasure -

A Coaching Power Tool Created by Yong Sun Terrence Ho
(Sales, Business and Leadership Coach, MALAYSIA)

When asked, “What are the 5 most important things in life?” most people would state “Happiness” as one of them. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, happiness is defined as “a state of well-being and contentment”. To Wikipedia, happiness means “positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy”.It is a subject matter that has been researched since the 1960s with a wide variety of applications from psychology to science to medicine and economics. Happiness is also the subject of intense debate when it comes to the context of mental or emotional states, usage, meaning, and culture. Whilst we can agree that happiness is important in our lives; we don’t necessarily agree on what makes each of us happy.

Pleasure on the other hand is defined as a feeling of enjoyment or satisfaction (Merriam-Webster dictionary). According to Wikipedia, pleasure is a broad class of mental states that humans experience as positive, enjoyable, or worth seeking. Similar to happiness, the meaning and experience of pleasure are subjective and different people experience different kinds and amounts of pleasure in the same given situation. Whilst pleasure motivates us to recreate pleasurable moments and situations, we do not always agree with what brings each of us pleasure.

Now we know the similarities; what are the differences i.e.: happiness vs pleasure? One key insight from the book “The Hacking of the American Mind” by Dr. Robert Lustig (2017) is that the American culture tends to confuse happiness and pleasure. During an interview with the University of California TV in 2017, he clarified 7 key differences between the two:

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Dr. Lustig goes on to explain why understanding the difference between happiness and pleasure is so important and one key reason is that excess pleasure can result in the deterioration of happiness. This is because the more pleasure is experienced, the more dopamine is released which can lead to addiction, which reduces serotonin thereby negating both present and future happiness. Hence, the conclusion, states Dr. Lustig in the same interview, is that “the more pleasure we seek, the more unhappy we get.”

Let us examine through from the perspective of a salesperson at the workplace. John derives pleasure from achieving target-related commissions / bonuses&wining and dining with clients. He also derives happiness from career advancement and having a meaningful satisfying job. In the quest for pleasure, John may be drawn to excessive entertainment and networking with clients triggering an addictive lifestyle of overconsumption of rich foods and alcohol resulting in a deterioration of his health and overall wellbeing to the point that the more he entertains, the less he finds his job meaningful and satisfying. In the quest for pleasure, inadvertently becomes less happy.

As coaches, what are the signs we can look out for in a client which would give us an indication that they might be addicted to pleasure?

Whilst staying alert to the above, a key question that the coach can ask themselves is: what symptoms have I seen? Think about what actions, changes, and behaviors that you have seen in the client that has caused you to think that they might have an addiction (there may be a specific occurrence or a string of questionable behaviors). Look for the following symptoms:

Because coaching is not therapy, counseling, or psychology and coaching does not involve getting into the underlying source that drives negative behaviors, diagnosing addiction can be challenging. And since addiction can be a life-threatening illness; in line with the International Coaching Federation (ICF)’s Core Competency of meeting ethical guidelines and professional standards; if the coach realizes a need for the client to seek professional help e.g.: therapy; then refer them to a therapist.

Now back to the example of John. Should there be no addiction issues, John’s perspective may be that for him to achieve big commissions and bonuses (i.e.: pleasure), he needs to achieve his big target, and for him to achieve that, he needs to keep his clients happy and engaged and therefore he needs to be engaged in more entertainment and networking. Now, this is a limiting point of view that can create a ‘stuck feeling’ causing less job satisfaction (i.e.: unhappiness).

How can we as coaches help to create awareness around seeking pleasure and consider the more empowering perspective which is seeking happiness? When a client like John focuses on pleasure, what he is focused on is generally the now; the current moment; the short term. To get him to shift their focus on happiness; they must consider focusing on the future; the long term. The following questions can help make the shift:

Other frameworks/tools that can supplement coaching to help the client gain perspective of happiness vs pleasure:

In conclusion, here are some quotes that can provide further insight into happiness vs pleasure:

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