A Coaching Power Tool created by Gavin Kirk
Personal Transformation Coach, SOUTH AFRICA
We live in a stressful, fast-paced, highly competitive world. We are faced with facts supporting seemingly contradictory conclusions. We have to choose what to focus our attention on or risk suffering from information overload. We enjoy the freedom of choice but become paralyzed with the choices we are faced with. The many demands placed on our time can sometimes be truly overwhelming. Not many people have the time to really look at their lives and evaluate what is supporting them and what isn’t. Many of us just do what’s always been done: do more and work harder.
We fill our days with activities that don’t lead to any satisfaction. We look back on our week and remember the hard work, the stress, and the feeling that we haven’t really achieved anything.
We use busy-ness as a balm to hide the underlying dissatisfaction we feel in our lives.
Why are we all so busy?
Busy-ness is the hallmark of modern Western culture. It is the unconscious and unchallenged attitude that you will have and be more by doing more.
This attitude goes unchallenged precisely because it is partially true. From a young age children are socialized to associate hard-work and commitment (doing) with satisfaction (being) and achievement (having). That seems reasonable. We see sports men and women breaking world records through hard work. We see business people achieve remarkable things due to their diligence and patience. We see Nobel Peace laureates actively making the world a better place. History is full of examples of these remarkable people apparently proving this belief. They seem to be more and have more because they do more.
What’s actually happening?
It appears as if there is a direct cause-effect relationship between what they are doing and what they have as a result. Their hard-word has paid off with tangible results: success in their area of expertise.
Perhaps our initial attitude should become: you will have more by doing more of the right things.
But, what are the ‘right things’?
For the world’s most successful individuals, their actions seem to be inextricably linked with who they are. Their doing flows from their being. They are doing the right things. Not only are these people doing things that lead them directly to what they want to have, but they are also doing things that are aligned with who they are and who they want to be or become. Put simply: They are being who they are and there is alignment between their values and their goals.
Once you are in touch with your core values, being who you are is automatic. Doing becomes effortless. And doing that is aligned with being naturally leads to having the things that bring real joy and happiness; real life satisfaction.
Reflection
Moving Towards Effective-ness
Effective-ness is the attitude of being yourself while doing more of the right things to have more of what you would like in your life.
The journey to effective-ness begins with yourself. Self-awareness is the basis of effective-ness as it allows us to be aware, on a deep level, of our values and beliefs. It allows us to honestly acknowledge our strengths and compassionately own our weaknesses. Self-awareness leads to a greater understanding of our emotional reactions to events and our behavioral tendencies. Self-awareness puts us in a position to manage ourselves better.
From this position of increased self-awareness and with an increased ability to self-manage, we can more consciously choose goals that have value and meaning to us. With our goals and values aligned with our core being, the doing part comes naturally; effortlessly.
Having an attitude of effective-ness comes from knowing your own capabilities and choosing goals that are slightly challenging. Self-awareness allows being and doing to become one. You will no longer find yourself filling up your time with meaningless activities. Rather, you will use your time to live out your life effectively; with purpose and meaning.