A Coaching Model Created by Dina Kourouvani
(Transformational Coach, GREECE)
Nurture. Open. Wonder.
The range of what we think and dois limited by what we fail to notice. And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice, there is little we can do to change, until we notice how failing to noticeshapes our thoughts and deeds R. D. Laing
Your mind has been trying to protect you from strong negative feelings of fear, shame, pain. It created tactics you fail to notice because these tactics sort-of work.
These tactics have served you, but have also split you up: you cannot love the hole of your being, you need to love what is your “good” self and reject, hide, criticize, blame, what is your “bad” self.
When midlife approaches you to start to notice the tactics because some start to fail you. Bigger challenges happen: Break-ups, health challenges, unfulfilled desires, fulfilled desires which became heavy responsibilities, significant losses, wrinkles. Your deeper needs and values tend to change direction, perhaps even making a 180-degree turn. The mid-life integration of thinking, sensation, feeling, and intuition can, it seems, lead to confusion about one’s life and goals.
NOW is the time for breaking old habits and cultivating dormant talents. Life made sure that we never get bored, and there is something new to explore and create at each stage. If we choose to look at things under a certain light, we can all become wonders enjoying a creation full of wonders.
Can you use a coaching relationship at this point in your life?
Answer the following questions:
If you answered YES to any of the above questions then I am NOT your coaching partner.
If you answered NO above, then what do you need support with?
Why would you choose to coach?
The International Coaching Federation (ICF) defines coaching as “a partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential”. In a coaching relationship, you are considered hole, resourceful, you have all the answers and you know what is best for you. We have a relationship of equals. As your coaching partner, I intend to inspire you through my questions, my behavior, my techniques, and my skills. I am not going to guide, instruct, consult, mentor, diagnose, etc. The process depends on both of us. Still, I can promise you, that if the coaching principles resonate with you, and you are willing to stay committed, coaching is designed in a way you get what you expect and much more.
Who am I and what I can bring to our coaching relationship
My model
Here are some elements you will experience in our coaching relationship:
Nurture
- first things first: we find ways to nourish your immediate needs.
For example: maybe you feel overwhelmed by the volume of tasks they need to perform or the areas they need to improve. The organization, prioritization, and planning skills can bring immediate relief. Maybe you need to be heard, you need to vent. Whatever you want first is served first. Let’s find ways to soothe you first when you have negative emotions.
- We get you the information you may be need
Stress and limitations often release their grip when you obtain the information you are missing. We identify what is useful, or in other cases, I propose to your sources of information and you choose if you check them out after the session.
- We focus on your connection with nature
Your body is part of your brain. It is involved in creating your perceptions, your emotions. Exercise and contact with nature regulate the levels of hormones that support your balance. We explore what is the best way for you to stay in contact with nature.
- We use mindfulness
Should you choose it, regular mindfulness exercises will become your greatest support system. We explore what is the best way for you to establish a mindfulness practice.
- We appreciate and we celebrate
You chose to ask for help and support yourself with coaching. I want to acknowledge you for the self-love and self-care, which also is the biggest gift you can offer to others. When the self-love grows, love, and acceptance to all others grow too.
In the sessions, we will keep looking for every occasion to appreciate and celebrate you and your environment, and make the muscle of appreciation and gratitude grow stronger to better support you.
Open
When you feel listened, valued, understood, celebrated you can open yourself to new possibilities. Carl Rogers, one of the founding fathers of psychotherapy research, described the impact of empathy on its recipients: “When someone hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels damn good. When I have been listened to and when I have been heard, I can re-perceive my world in a new way and go on. It is astonishing how elements that seem insoluble become soluble when someone listens.”
The more you allow yourself to imagine freely and the more you build trust, faith, self-confidence, the more limitations you eliminate.
Allow yourself to get inspired, allow yourself to daydream, think of small goals, big goals, what would you like to be? what would you like to have? How would you like to feel? what makes you happy? What entertains you? What makes you smile? What did you like as a child? What do you want? What you don’t want? What is important for you? How will you feel when you will have it? What do you enjoy at work? What would be awesome to have? What can you believe you can have now? Faith and imagination work hand in hand to build your desired reality. Both can be cultivated. We will train these muscles.
Wonder
- We use curiosity and compassion.
This is a space to approach the hole of who you are with curiosity and sympathy. No judgment. We explore what is important for you and what is blocking you. Allow seeing the parts of yourself you ignored. Find your own pace, be aware that you make the decisions. Permit me to mirror back what I observe, so you can decide if there is something you want to explore. We observe now your patterns and habits which have served you in the past. We find and respect your learning style, how you like to explore. I also propose your tools and you decide if you are going to use them after the session.
- We get your learning/ new awareness
The exploration you allow can bring a lot of new learning, maybe at a point in your life, you thought you knew most of it. This new learning/awareness can bring acceptance. Acceptance can bring now contentment, easiness.
New Learning can also bring a change of direction now: we validate your goals with your new learning about yourself and the situation and we restart the process of exploration.
How would the new goals be supported? What are the habits, the perceptions, the values you choose to empower now?
- We show appreciation
We appreciate you and acknowledge you now for the amazing journey, full of wonders, for the work, for the new awareness. We show appreciation for the aspects of you that you discover. We appreciate your bravery to explore and your service to yourself and others.
We also show appreciation for the tactics, the habits, the perceptions, the values that served you in the past, and acknowledge how their service and importance for your survival and well being until now.
- Get creative
We always include actions and planning in our coaching conversations and we keep getting better at it. We explore your learning style, consider what you love to do and what is challenging, and plan actions accordingly.
Having acknowledged and appreciated the old tactics, the habits, the perceptions, and how they served you until now, you get ready to design the new habits that pave the change you want to experience.
We focus on the creation of new habits and beliefs as they are usually tricky to create and sustain. You are invited to imagine the smallest possible steps. The most delightful treats to motivate you. Find as many supportive structures you can imagine. It is time to think out of all the boxes and get all the help you can.
The future is comprised of infinite now-moments. The journey is as important as the result. We make it important and focus to look for ways for the actions towards your goal to delight you as much as you expect your goal to.
- We follow-through, cheering all the way
We follow-up your plan at every conversation in the best way you choose for you. I will be cheering for you and inspire you to keep celebrating every step you make and to keep cheering for yourself.
